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Guilty Good Sumaritan [13 Mar 2005|02:36pm]
I may have been officially fired from D'Angelos today without really doing much of anything. I suppose not doing something is doing something when you don't show up for work and fail to inform them of said plans. At least I could have called to finesse a story about my grandmother's recent death or how I just threw up last night's take out order. Although how many deceased relatives and cases of food poisining can one person realisticly encounter.
As it is my nature, I am more content with being passive aggressive about it anway. I feel my truancy effectivly delivered the notion that this job sucks and if I have to peel and core another 50 pound bag of onions I just might become a vegetable myself. But if a tree falls in the woods and noone is there to hear it does it still make a sound? I think it does, and is sounds like, "You're Fired!"
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Insomniac Music Theater [06 Jul 2004|09:51pm]
I am still tired even after sleeping for 14 hours last night. This rest was needed however, as I stayed up all night and then worked from 8 AM until 1 PM the night/day prior. And prior to that I had only slept 3 hours for I had to go to Diva's Night Club and pass out invitations/flyers for my 4th of July Hodown and work in the morning again. This was all necessary as this was my and Stephanie's comeback party after having been off the scene for who knows how long. More really of Stephanie's coming back than mine for now she can live freely due to her boyfriend's newly instated prison sentence. A few new phone number's where written on my wall and all my chips and Dorrito's are gone, two very good indications that the party was well received. Parting gifts were also left including other people's booze, a pack of Newports, and a white zip-up hoody from H&M. I know this hoody was from H&M because the price tag was still attached. Now the only real question is to keep it or return it for store credit. I guess I will decide when I wake up.

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Damn, where have I been? [06 Jul 2004|08:30pm]
If there is one person my journal cracks up it's myself.
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[08 Feb 2004|12:38pm]

If You Don't Like The Peach

Then Walk On By The Tree

That's what you better do honey, honey
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Get Out of My Dreams... and into My Car [29 Dec 2003|12:43am]
Having a license to drive is not all it's cracked up to be. I once thought it would be my ticket to freedom, fame, fortune, and a free high off the fumes at the gas pump. However being in the midst of family and friends who do not have a license or car of their own, it has in fact become their ticket to ride. There seems to be no end to the appointments, grocery stores, and diaper and baby wipe trips that people just expect me to bring them to as if it were my 1st priority. No one is worse at feeling they have entitlement over my legal driving status than my sister. Being the hypochondriac that she is, she has set up residence at our local health care center as her new home away from home. I would say she finds one reason or another, whether it be a sinus problem or her foot has inexplicably become sore over night, to make me bring her there at least once a week. I bring her there so often that if she requested a recliner with a microwave oven and mini-fridge complete with chicken quesidilla Hot Pockets in a secluded area of the waiting room, I can find no argument they could transpire against it. They might opt for Lean Pockets however, stating that although she was at one time pregnant, she isn't any longer and shouldn't still eat like she is. Nevertheless, even an apple a day wouldn't keep this girl away.

In all honesty, if I wasn't constantly being badgered for rides I probably wouldn't be doing anything much at all. There's always something in my house though that I could find to hot glue, paint. or organize. But then If I didn't pick people up, there would be no one to share the finished product with. And I do enjoy driving, but particularly by myself . That's when I can blast any music I want and ear piercingly sing at the top of my lungs. It's always amusing to look over at the car next to you and catch the person inside having their own little kareoke contest, but not so much amusing when you are that person.
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[06 Jul 2003|12:26am]
Oh dear I really need to get new icons :0
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Have Yourself A Merry Little August :) [04 Aug 2002|04:49am]
While secluded in my dimly lit and thinly walled basement room, the volume at which I am listening to X-Mas music is deafening. With the accompaniment of my soaring vocals, I fear I may have unwittingly invited the neighbors and anyone in a 2 block radius to join in the yule tide cheer. Once again the unintentional seclusion of an inactive summer weekend has catapulted me into a festive mix of carols and cigarettes. A sort of cabin fever if you will, minus the ever refreshing scent of pine.
When not expressing my inner American Idol with the help of holiday classics, an hour or two may be spent with my imitation Monsters Inc. coloring and activity book. Although the characters in the book are generic, I draw the line (no pun intended) when it comes to coloring tools, settling for no less than a 48 count box of Crayolas. There is no substitute for the smoothness and originality of colors in a Crayola box, for every other brand of crayon seems to be made from recycled candle wax.
The over abundance of time passing activities such as these that currently enthrall my life has lead me to believe that I have reached new and unforeseen levels of boredom. So many hours spent in solitude has even floundered my psyche to the point where I am truly considering finding a real job just so I know there is something to do every day. In fact I may start looking once I am finished alphabetizing and sorting my CD and Video collection by artist and genre. Until then, I'll have to muddle through somehow...
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Kleptomaniac Survey [07 Jun 2002|04:59am]
How long have you been a kleptomaniac? On and off since childhood, but have been thieving obscene amounts over the past 2 years.
Why'd you start? Seeing that I barely have any cash flow, my insatiable need for material possessions needed to be compensated for. Freeness = excellence. I also think it's funny that I can acquire so many things without payment or anyone noticing. So comedic value plays a role as well.
What was the earliest thing you can remember stealing? I don't know the 1st thing I ever stole, but the 1st thing I was ever caught for was a set of pens from Stop&Shop.
What's the last thing you can remember stealing? My last trip to the mall I shoplifted 6 shirts from Abercrombie Kids; 2 shirts from H&M; 2 shirts from Areopastale; 2 necklaces from Gap; and hair spray, gel, and a CD case from Dollar Plus! Immediately following the mall I pillaged a tuna fish sandwich and a fat free chocolate milk from Stop&shop and then snuck into a movie.
When was that? About 2 weeks ago...actually I've stolen some gum and face wash since then, but the theft of those 2 things are so common for me that it holds no real impact on my inventory of stolen goods. But wait, there is the chair I am sitting on right now which got from Bingo's Chineese restaurant and a table from a psychic reading business. That's pretty bad if I can't even keep track of the last thing I stole, but the theivery of the table was quite halarious.
How'd you steal it [i.e. put it in a bag? or walk out? etc]? I don't think there are enough minutes in the day to start to explain that process. Each item being different poses a different method of embezzlement. And let's not even get started on the sensor tag issue.
Have you ever been arrested? I have been caught but never arrested for stealing, or anything else for that matter.
If so, what were you caught stealing? As mentioned above there was the case of the pens. When I was about 14 I went on a spree throughout the mall and with an uneventful end at Nobody Beats The Wiz. Apparrently a secret shopper found me concealing the movie "Death Becomes Her" and I was taken to the back room. All other items taken throughout the day eventually came to light, icluding a vibrator I got for my friend. Representatives from each store we took from that day were called to collect all the items we stole and embarrassment undeniably ensued. Our photos were taken and my friend and I were baned from the store for a year. Under the condition that we write and mail a letter of apology to the store, no further charges were brought. Then there was last year when I was caught for an 89 cent flash light at Ocean State Job Lot. It really wasn't my fault that I was caught, but I had to pay a $250 fine for that friggin flashlight.
What's the most expensive thing[s] you've ever stolen? There's not really one item that is the most expensive but there have been days where the tally has reached upwards of $400. Sometimes I keep the price tags to add it all up when I get home.
What's your favorite stolen item: Probably my digital camera and Polaroid Izone because I get the most use out of them. Other favorites include my lightup disco ball and my pillow cases. Everyone seems to comment on them when they enter my room.

If I am not the definition of Kleptomaniacy then I don't know what is. I must stress that I would never steal money or anything of someone's personal belongings, however I would like to one day steal the hearts and admiration of the nation and hopefully much of the civilized world. So it would be unfortunate if people's assumtions were that I am just a shoplifter or someone who can't be trusted with children, because I know I am so much more then that. And I can be trusted with children, it was just that one time...
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[06 Jun 2002|07:19pm]
I think that description pretty accurately describes me. Too bad I smoke menthols, preferably Newports, but really anything that's buy one get one free. Hence my smoking Parliaments at the moment, but the recessed filter can be quite enjoyable sometimes. At least I didn't turn out to be Cloves.

You're a laid back kind of person - the type who tends to get along with everyone. You can be smoked by smokers of just about any other brand. Your own smokers however, won't touch anything but you.

Find out what cigarette you are. Take the Cigarette Test byGirlwithagun
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Rental Relocation [26 May 2002|06:18am]
I don't know if bicycle seats are made with comfort in mind, but I imagine Huffy tried to produce the feeling of sitting on a bandana shaped broom stick and transferred that onto a 10 speed. In an attempt to fill the recent void of movie rentals that my nearby but late fee ridden Blockbuster account has left me with, I decided to face the monstrosity of the hills in the next town over and take a 4 mile round trip bike excursion to Movie Gallery. I don't know why I haven't thought to patronize Movie Gallery earlier because they offer all new releases as 5 day rentals at $3.25 a piece, not to mention the even greater preeminence of the 99 cent Wednesdays! So I feel Blockbuster can go fuck themselves with their overpriced "Guaranteed In Stock" bullshit. After having browsed breathlessly and leg cramped through the store I made a final decision on one DVD and a lesser quality but equally as appealing film on VHS, the latter of which I watched this evening and found to be prodigiously amusing.

In one scene a can of vegetables unexpectedly begins to speak and proclaims that it can suck it's own cock. Words cannot describe my newly found admiration of this movie.
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Sign O' The Times [23 May 2002|02:05am]
Sometimes you just want to order from the kids menu. Without my consent I was honored with being the official food delivery boy for students and teachers alike of the dance studio for the annual picture day. So on my last of 3 treks to Friendly's that evening I decided to honor myself with a Conehead, which I feel is the ultimate in Friendly's kid's sundae delights next to the Crumb Madness. Just when I was starting to feel bad for an obscene calorie and fat intake for the day I stumbled upon the greatest find of federal government property during the walk back. It was just laying there on the side walk in perfect condition, almost as if it was demanding for me to conceal it in a trash bag and take it home. I think it will reside nicely on my wall next to it's "Wrong Way" and "Handicap Parking" cousins.

Now if only I could find a place to put that enormous DO NOT ENTER sign I recently acquired. I could stop abducting all those CAUTION WET FLOOR fold up signs from every Taco Bell, D'angelos, and emergency room in the area and I might just have enough room for it. But then what would I do with all that freed up time? It would probably be spent pondering the thought that if I was in fact a slow deaf child I wouldn't want a sign outside my house advertising it.
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Metaphorically Misunderstood [15 May 2002|03:35am]
During one of my many trips to the mall courtesy on the Pioneer Valley Transit Authority (PVTA) last weekend, I over heard a conversation between a female passenger and the bus driver. The dialogue consisted of the woman misplacing an item and the potentiality that it was stolen. After ruling out any possibility that the swindler in question could be me, the words "Well it sure as shit didn't walk out of the room on it's own" were thrown about in a loud and resentful manner. After modestly nodding my head in agreement that yes indeed an inanimate object could not just walk out of a room, I began to ponder the origins of the phrase "sure as shit." How and when did shit become something of a sure thing? Might it be that when a piece of shit is stumbled upon you know undeniably that it is in fact fecal matter and could not possibly be mistaken for say a discarded Milky Way bar? Or is it the act of shitting that this age old metaphor came to be? As in if there is something a person will surely do in this lifetime it's take a crap. In an effort to gain some clues to the creation of this lude expression I went back to the source to which I heard it and gave the woman a thorough look over. I came to the final decision that there was no reasoning behind the comment and probably made it's 1st debut in a trailer park. If there was one thing more sure than shit it was the frigid air blowing through the open window of the bus as we traveled to our appropriate destinations. One might say it was "colder than a witch's tit."
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Hey It's Me! [15 May 2002|03:29am]
I've realized that I am such a whore for hotornot.com.
Not that I care that I care how other people think I look or anything...
*ponders the truth of that statement*


Rate me...if you dare!
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ISO (In Search Of) [10 May 2002|04:45am]
Sometimes I wonder if there is a person out there who possess qualities that would compliment my own. Someone who shares the same fondness of always eating cereal with a large spoon or refuses to have cheese placed with any mustard product. Propensities such as these are hard to come by, and I can think of no better way then placing a personal ad to narrow the field of potential suitors.

Attractive S/W/M with swimmers build seeks same for late night/early morning snacking of Apple Jacks using table spoons. I'm fun, energetic, and have a profound disdain of feet and will always wear socks to bed. I also enjoy frequently abridging words and phrases during conversation. Shoplifters are a plus! Fans of Moby and/or Celine Dion need not apply. D&D free.

It has been my experience that most descriptions are either false or questionable. So it seems inevitible that I will recieve a reply from a 210 lb. man-beast with a foot fetish.
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?????? [07 May 2002|09:01pm]
Is anyone having problems viewing the pics in my last few entries?
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Quick Shots Of False Hope [07 May 2002|08:41pm]
On the wall in the corner of the dentist office was a poster with a rainbow over a field of butterflies. Inside the stripes of the rainbow were the words: BELIEVE IN MIRICLES. I took this as a message that probably wasn't from God. A message to cherish life's outrageously ironic moments - because they were what I could count on. Maybe I would never live comfortably or be considered successful, but instead I would be the one person lucky enough to bear witness to the kind of foibles that aren't the stuff set up on TV shows, that are barely the stuff of normal people's lives. Like the time I opened the door to a friend's apartment building just as an old man tripped down a short flight of stairs and landed on another old man who was sleeping one off in the foyer. What's that worth. Can the experience of that moment be bought?
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The Many Faces of my Desktop [07 May 2002|08:30pm]
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[01 May 2002|12:49am]
I feel the world or at least I am in a musical rut. Every thing that was good a week ago has lost all appealingness from being played out, whether that be by radio and TV or just by my own efforts of frequently listening to whatever artist or music I'm currently raving about. I like Truth Hurts "Addictive" but I can't fully get down to it. And that's all I'm looking to do, but I am tired of dancing to the same old crap. I think we are just on the musical shit end of one of life's many cycles. Or maybe less like a cycle and more like roller coaster tracks, currently stationed at the bottom of the slope and I'm just waiting to boogie on up the next hill. It could just be that I need suggestions or--- psychiatric help, whichever may come first.
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R.I.P. Left Eye... [29 Apr 2002|04:19am]

"Waterfalls" is the most searched for song at lyrics.astraweb.com. It's unfortunate that it takes a death for people to gain interest in an artist.

~* I seen a rainbow yesterday~But too many storms have come and gone~Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray~Is it because my life is ten shades of grey~I pray all ten fade away~Seldom praise Him for the sunny days~And like His promise is true~Only my faith can undo~The many chances I blew~To bring my life to anew~Clear blue and unconditional skies~Have dried the tears from my eyes~No more lonely cries~My only bleedin' hope~Is for the folk who can't cope~Wit such an endurin' pain~That it keeps 'em in the pourin' rain~Who's to blame~For tootin' caine in your own vein~What a shame~You shoot and aim for someone else's brain~You claim the insane~And name this day and time~For fallin' prey to crime~I say the system got you victim to your own mind~Dreams are hopeless aspirations~In hopes of comin' true~Believe in yourself~The rest is up to me and you *~
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Pop tarts = Popularity [29 Apr 2002|01:22am]
My cupboards were un welcomely raided last night by an unidentified group of persons, with smore Pop tarts and saltines being amongst the favorite items of pillage. I guess this is to be expected when you bemingle a horde of unsupervised alcoholics in a kitchen bearing toaster pastries. By normal standards I suppose the party was a success. My house was filled with loud music, drunken strangers, and Stephanie once again passed out in the bathtub for a mid-party nap. These would usually be tell-tale signs of party time excellence, but all I am left with is a fridge full of cheap beer and a feeling of dissatisfaction. It will probably be the last installment in a trilogy of parties that I've thrown with this same crowd. I'm likening it to the Godfather movies, the first being the best, but peaking a high point with the sequel and uneventfully ending with a part III that was over hyped and unnecessary, minus Andy Garcia to make it all seem appealing. It's just not worth all the things I do and go through to make it happen (and belive me I go through some shit), just to feel unappreciated while sweeping up cigarette butts into an overflowing trash can. It wasn't a terrible evening for I was intoxicated and met a few new people. I'm just tired of lending myself and my house to be the scapegoat for other people's enjoyment. From now on I'm letting someone else throw the party, although they never are as good.
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